Blog 4

It was the day of my senior prom in 2011. My prom party consisted of myself, my two best girl friends, Margaret and Savannah, our mutual friends Amanda and QuionJay, and our dates. We all met at my house to take pictures and to eat the dinner that my parents prepared for us. 

When Amanda showed up she was dateless. She told Savannah and I that her mother had never liked her boyfriend, Patrick, and had forbidden him from going to prom with us. She made it seem as though her mother was just a mean control freak and that there was no real reason why she had forbidden Patrick from coming with us. Patrick was my next door neighbor at the time so after prom Amanda planned on staying the night at his house instead of mine. Savannah and I felt terrible for Amanda and promised we would cover for her if her mom got in the way. 

Prom and Breakfast was wonderful and we all had a great time but Amanda. Her mom followed our limo around all night to make sure Patrick didn’t show up at prom, which he didn’t. Amanda also proceeded to be the only of out of our whole prom group that drank and got drunk. Savannah and I kept our promise. Every time Amanda’s mom called us asking questions we covered for her. When we arrived back at my house later that night Amanda drove to Patrick’s and Savannah and I went to sleep.

It seemed like only a minute before I was woken up by Savannah. We noticed the police lights coming from Patrick’s house. We didn’t know what to do. Her mom had called us several times so we called her back and said told us Amanda would call us later.

The next morning we should out what had happened. Patrick had already beat Amanda several times before that night, sending her to the hospital twice. She continued to go back to him until her mom got suspicious and went through Amanda’s phone. She found out everything and forbid Amanda from seeing him. But Amanda continued to secretly see him and that night he went further than ever. He raped Amanda when she wouldn’t have sex with him. He told her he had to get her pregnant so she could never leave him. He beat her repeatedly, dragged her around naked by her hair, chased her around with a knife as she called her mother to say good bye, and held a gun to her head in front of Amanda’s mother and father when they arrived after the horrible phone call. 

It took months but we finally got him kicked out of his house. They took him to court but he was only put in prison for one year. No one really believed Amanda but us. People harassed her at school, including her “best friends.” People even threatened her. It took a long time before Amanda finally went and got help from a therapist but she did. 

People are so “ok” with violence against women that even her best friend’s turned against her and defended Patrick. They immediately believed she was lying. It was that saddest thing I even witnessed a friend go through.  

My First Glimpse at Feminism

My mother has always identified as a feminist. Growing up she always talked to me about feminist issues, what it means to be a woman, and the prejudices I might encounter as a woman. I’ve always thought of myself as a feminist but I’ve been through many different stages of feminism and womanhood throughout the years for various reasons. However, through all my experiences and stages I have continued to grow in my passion for equality for not just women but all people.

The first time I ever became aware of the fight for equality I was 12 and in the sixth grade. My best friend, Lucille, and I were on our way to dance lessons with my mother. I really didn’t feel like going to dance that day because Lucille and I wanted to go to the skating rink with our friends. I had just started my period and decided to use my menstrual cramping and other period related symptoms as an excuse to get out of dance. I had never seen my mother so appalled before. She said that I should never use my period as a way to limit my ability to counting life as normal because that was an excuse politicians used to try and keep women out of politics. She counted to explain to me how for generations men tried to keep women in the home and limit their every right and one reason they often used was that women have periods and the symptoms resulting for menstrual cycles. 

I was stunned. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and angrier than I had ever felt in my entire life up to that point. I remember steaming about it all through dance that night. I couldn’t believe that a group of human beings would or could put another group of humans down for virtually no real reason and that I was in that group of people being put down. That day started my journey of fighting for women’s rights and equal treatment of all humans.